I’m one of those people who just doesn’t make new friends very easily. I believe friendship is important, and that it is essential to one’s happiness, but I find it more difficult to make new friends as I get older. I find it more and more difficult to trust people and to open up to them. I find myself testing people more now, to see if they are the are the kind of person who knows what it is to be a real friend.
Since moving to Phoenix I have made a few new friends. However, lately, it’s the old friends that I find myself thinking about a lot. Maybe it’s because of my health situation that I’m going through, or maybe it’s because I’m just getting older. I’m not sure. But I’m missing some of my old friends. Some of them go back as far as grade school.
To my old friends, I miss you all so much. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen some of you and I have completely lost touch with many of you. Some of you probably don’t even remember me. Most of you will certainly will never see this blog.
For those I do have contact with, I don’t see any of you often enough. And, it is possible that I won’t see some of you ever again for one reason or another, but I think of you every day. I pray for your health and happiness, for your families and for you to feel that your life has been special. You were and are precious to me.
Some of you (you know who you are) are going through very rough times right now. I wish I could be by your side, holding your hand through all of it. In my heart I’m there. Please know that you are thought of and loved and that I am praying for you.
Some of you have seen me through the many tumultuous times in my life. You loved and accepted me when I couldn’t love and accept myself. You still love me and accept me when I have trouble loving and accepting myself, and I thank you. Your kind hearts, your understanding and your unconditional friendship have helped me more than you could possibly understand. I love you.
Some of you have abandoned our friendship because of those bad times. You won’t speak to me, email me, or acknowledge me in any way. I understand, and I forgive you. And I’m truly sorry for hurting you. I hope that you will forgive me, too. Either way, I still love you.
At least one of you has passed on before me. There is a “you-shaped” place in my heart that has never gone away. I will miss you until I day I meet you again in Heaven. Maybe then I’ll have the courage to tell you what you really mean(t) to me.
My memories of you, my old friends, are rich. I have lived, loved, learned and laughed with you all. You are my garden of flowers. So brilliant and beautiful, so varied and unique, each of you have enriched my life. I am blessed!