I know what’s bugging me…

I couldn’t put my finger on it before…the reasons why I am feeling so scared, sad and distracted eluded me.

 Yeah, I might have cancer…I probably do have cancer according to my pathology report. And yeah, I am going to have surgery to remove my thyroid in a few weeks.

 But those aren’t the main reasons for my fears.

 I keep reading about the period of time after surgery…when I’m going to be hypo thyroid…and it’s not pretty. In fact it’s a real downer. I can take the pain of surgery. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, though I’m not really looking forward to that.

I’ve realized that I’m used to being strong and capable, and from what I read that might very well not be the case for  a good long while after my surgery. It can sometimes take YEARS to figure out the right dosages of thyroid hormone replacement medication! And, during the time that you and the doctor are figuring out the right doses, you are probably going to feel really rotten. Or so I hear.

I’m glad I have places I can go to understand what is going to happen to me. It really does help to be able to educate myself on what is going to happen so I can prepare myself for the inevitable, at least mentally.

 I joined a Yahoo Group on Thyroid Cancer and they have this posted in one of their files:

Asking For Help

 As I sat reading through the list I had tears streaming down my face. Is this what it is going to be like? Really? (sigh) And can I, or will I really ask for help? That is so hard for me to do. I’m a caregiver type of person, and not so good at accepting help. It’s not that I’m not grateful when people offer to help me, I truly am grateful! It’s just that I feel so darned guilty about it. I should be doing these things for myself…and now I find out that I might not be able to even drive myself  around…and maybe not even work! Maybe it’s all exaggerated and it won’t really be this bad? I hope.

 If anyone is interested in reading more from ThyCa they can go to their website.

The Yahoo Group is here:

ThyCa Yahoo Group

 There is a mother lode of information at both places. My advice is to take it in small doses. It can really be overwhelming if you try to absorb it all in a couple of sittings. Especially if you or someone you love is facing this monster.

I keep hearing, “If you’ve got to have cancer, this is the kind to have.” And I keep thinking, “But I don’t want to have cancer at all.”

I didn’t get to choose that one, did I? That card just wasn’t in my deck.

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3 thoughts on “I know what’s bugging me…

  1. sorry to hear about your cancer. A friend of mine had to have part of his thyroid removed. He believes it was caused by fluoride. The evidence against fluoride is overwhelming (it’s a carcinogenic toxin). Calcium carbonate and exercise can cause you to dump fluoride. Also look at the evidence for red raspberries and how they start killing cancer within 72 hours. I hope this can help you. Selenium in brazil nuts will also help.

  2. Oh, Lynda, I am acquainted with your fear. Maybe you already know that my hubby has 4th stage terminal CA. It is a very rare form 1:280,000…so take comfort in “If you’ve got to have cancer, this is the kind to have.” It is hard to find comfort anywhere, but your support group and fellow sufferers are very important…count me in, Lynda….I will purpose to Walk the Valley of the Shadow with you…My prayers are with you…Shadowlands….

  3. I mentioned my mom to you on this blog a while back. She, like you is a caregiver and would prefer to do for others and put herself last. That all changed when she became ill, as I hope it will with you – you deserve and will need all the love and support you possibly can. So by all means, lean on those around you. Even if it’s for something as simple as lending an ear or driving you somewhere or running an errand.

    It’s great that you’re educating yourself because it’s best to be informed during situations like this. Just keep in mind that everyone’s situation is unique and your recovery just may be different from what you are reading about. I’m praying for you daily.

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