Asylum for the Verbally Insane

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                  Asylum for the Verbally Insane

Author unknown

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its
paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking
English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people
recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and
a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop,
how come Mother’s not Mop?

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New Surgery Date

Hi all, this is just a quick post to let those who are reading my blog know that my total thyroidectomy surgery date has been postponed to April 14th. My doctor had the time to do the surgery on the 9th, but the hospital he works out of didn’t have a operating room until the 14th. I think I really want an operating room for this procedure, so I guess I’ll wait a few more days. 🙂

In some ways it works out better, because I was planning on a Monday return to work and this way I’ll have seven full days off, instead of just five, to recuperate from surgery. My doctor said I should be able to return to normal activity in 3-5 days after my operation, so I figure that I should feel pretty good over the weekend before having to return to work on the 21st!

I appreciate all the wonderful support and good wishes from those of you who read my blog. You’re a wonderful group of people and I’m blessed to know you through your comments to my posts and through your own blogs! You enrich my life immeasurably! Thank you!

Feels Like Home

November of last year (2007) found me visiting my granddad in Wyoming. He has had a recurring battle with lymphoma for several years and his health appeared to be rapidly deteriorating in late October, so of course I wanted to go see him.

I left Arizona for Wyoming with my heavy winter coat in tow. I have not used my coat since moving to Phoenix the week before Christmas in 2005, but I figured I might need it. Having lived in Wyoming for the better part of my adult life, I know what the late fall weather can be like there.

As it turned out, I didn’t need my heavy coat at all! The weather was gorgeous!

I asked Granddad if we could go up to the mountains if he felt up to it. He did, and we drove up to Story, WY. Story is a lovely little town nestled in the foothills of the Big Horn Mountains. I used to work up there and loved the rustic feel of the log cabins snuggled in among the trees. I enjoyed the restaurants with their huge fireplaces, with an elk or moose head mounted above the wooden mantel. I felt so much at home.

We took a back road shortcut, oh fun! In Wyoming a back road means a lot of dust and dirt, and maybe, if you’re lucky, a little gravel. Wyoming country roads are the reason I quit wearing contacts! Eyes filled with dusty grit don’t like contacts much!

Occasionally I would see something I wanted to stop and shoot with my camera. Wyoming, for me, is rich with photo opportunities. I wish I would have had more time to shoot the million and one things that I used to kind of take for granted when I lived in there. But our time was limited, so I snapped what I could, and figured I’d just have to go back another time.

Here are some of the photos I took:

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If you like red barns, then this area of Wyoming is ideal for you! It’s funny how people just wave as they turn into their gate and you’re standing there shooting pictures of their barn!

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This is an old school house, long since abandoned. There isn’t even a path to drive up to this little building anymore. I had walk about 200 yards and crawl through the fence to get this shot.

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These pretty red leaves were the last remnants of a beautiful fall. I took these pictures at the Fish Hatchery in Story, WY. I used to work within walking distance of the Fish Hatchery and would go walking over there during my lunch when the weather was favorable.

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This little pond, dammed by a family of beavers, is also at the Fish Hatchery. You can see the beavers’ dam at the edge of the water, toward the middle of the photo.

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This stump reminds me of some of the old farmers I knew around Sheridan, WY. It’s as though it might have a hundred stories to tell if it could just find the words to speak.

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This young whitetail buck thought he was hiding from me after crossing the road in front of our truck. Peek-a-boo, I see you!!

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This big fella seemed to be sleeping standing up, right up until I got close enough that he thought I might have food!!

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Okay, I lived in Wyoming for many years, and the only camels I saw were at the circus when my kids were really little! Llamas are common, camels, not so much! This guy was pretty friendly, but I think he, too, thought I might have some food for him so I snapped my pix and got out of there!

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The sun was starting to set as we drove by this old barn. We watched for quite a while as two deer sparred while the rest of the herd grazed nearby. No matter how many times I see deer, elk and moose, I am always in awe of them! I think that is something I will never take for granted!

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Summer is definitely over as you can see from these shriveled prune-like berries. I guess the birds have had quite their fill by this time!

I hope you’ve enjoyed seeing a little of the place that feels so much like home to me, even after being gone from there for almost 10 years. I’ve spent so much time with my kids, and my daycare kids, at family picnics, treasure hunts, bow shoots and camping in this area. The memories are gifts wrapped in the scent of pine and mountain rain.

I love Arizona now, and it feels more like home every day, but Wyoming will always have a big piece of my heart. It’s where my kids were born and where they grew up. I have a lot of friends there, whom I will always cherish. So I guess that now I really have two homes.

Pre-Op Appointment

As you may recall, my TT (total thyroidectomy) surgery has been moved to from April 9th to the 14th, checking in at 10:00 AM and surgery at noon (this is in Arizona Time, which, right now, is the same as Pacific Time). They moved because they hospital didn’t have an operating room on the 9th.

This morning I went in for my pre-op consultation with the surgeon. Everything looks good. My blood work, EKG and chest x-rays all came back excellent, so now it’s just the waiting…less than three weeks to go!!! I’ll be glad to have it over. But, even then it’s not really over. Depending on the results of the biopsy there could be a lot more down the line in the way of treatment, regulating the meds and monitoring. But I’m taking one day at a time and I know God is good and won’t let me have more than I can handle!

I’ll be at Scottsdale Healthcare – Shea. I’m really comfortable with what I’ve read and have been told about this hospital. I’ll likely be in there just overnight, with release after dinner the day after my surgery, if all goes well. I will be taking the entire week of my surgery off and returning to work the following Monday, again, if all goes well, which we expect it to.

As you can see, there are a lot of important things in that area, so it’s a delicate surgery. Fortunately my surgeon has done over 1000 thyroidectomies.

Thyroid

The doctor told me this morning that my pathology report from the biopsy on my thyroid should be back on the 16th and they’ll call me with the results.

Thanks for your good thoughts and prayers for me during this time. All in all I feel good and confident that I’m going to be fine. Guess I’m having a good day today!!

“It takes a long time to grow an old friend.” Quote by John Leonard

I’m one of those people who just doesn’t make new friends very easily. I believe friendship is important, and that it is essential to one’s happiness, but I find it more difficult to make new friends as I get older. I find it more and more difficult to trust people and to open up to them. I find myself testing people more now, to see if they are the are the kind of person who knows what it is to be a real friend.

Since moving to Phoenix I have made a few new friends. However, lately, it’s the old friends that I find myself thinking about a lot. Maybe it’s because of my health situation that I’m going through, or maybe it’s because I’m just getting older. I’m not sure. But I’m missing some of my old friends. Some of them go back as far as grade school.

To my old friends, I miss you all so much. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen some of you and I have completely lost touch with many of you. Some of you probably don’t even remember me. Most of you will certainly will never see this blog.

For those I do have contact with, I don’t see any of you often enough. And, it is possible that I won’t see some of you ever again for one reason or another, but I think of you every day. I pray for your health and happiness, for your families and for you to feel that your life has been special. You were and are precious to me.

Some of you (you know who you are) are going through very rough times right now. I wish I could be by your side, holding your hand through all of it. In my heart I’m there. Please know that you are thought of and loved and that I am praying for you.

Some of you have seen me through the many tumultuous times in my life. You loved and accepted me when I couldn’t love and accept myself. You still love me and accept me when I have trouble loving and accepting myself, and I thank you. Your kind hearts, your understanding and your unconditional friendship have helped me more than you could possibly understand. I love you.

Some of you have abandoned our friendship because of those bad times. You won’t speak to me, email me, or acknowledge me in any way. I understand, and I forgive you. And I’m truly sorry for hurting you. I hope that you will forgive me, too. Either way, I still love you.

At least one of you has passed on before me. There is a “you-shaped” place in my heart that has never gone away. I will miss you until I day I meet you again in Heaven. Maybe then I’ll have the courage to tell you what you really mean(t) to me.

My memories of you, my old friends, are rich. I have lived, loved, learned and laughed with you all. You are my garden of flowers. So brilliant and beautiful, so varied and unique, each of you have enriched my life. I am blessed!

Flower Garden

Did you hear the one…?

Did you hear the one about the German woman who went in to get an operation on her leg and ended up with a new anus? No, this is not a joke…it really freakin’ happened!! Surgery Tray

Even worse – Did you hear about the patient who went in for surgery to have a CANCEROUS kidney removed?…The doctor removed the wrong kidney!

Makes me more than a little nervous to be facing surgery in less than a month!

I know, I know, medical mistakes like this are rare …but unfortuantely, and obviously, they do happen!

Do you think it’s possible I could go in for thyroid surgery and come out thin (liposuction) and beautiful (face job) with perky BIG breasts (breast augmentation)???? Hmmmm…I doubt it.

Hey Doc, Watch Where You’re Cutting! A Lesson in Medical Mishaps

I know what’s bugging me…

I couldn’t put my finger on it before…the reasons why I am feeling so scared, sad and distracted eluded me.

 Yeah, I might have cancer…I probably do have cancer according to my pathology report. And yeah, I am going to have surgery to remove my thyroid in a few weeks.

 But those aren’t the main reasons for my fears.

 I keep reading about the period of time after surgery…when I’m going to be hypo thyroid…and it’s not pretty. In fact it’s a real downer. I can take the pain of surgery. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, though I’m not really looking forward to that.

I’ve realized that I’m used to being strong and capable, and from what I read that might very well not be the case for  a good long while after my surgery. It can sometimes take YEARS to figure out the right dosages of thyroid hormone replacement medication! And, during the time that you and the doctor are figuring out the right doses, you are probably going to feel really rotten. Or so I hear.

I’m glad I have places I can go to understand what is going to happen to me. It really does help to be able to educate myself on what is going to happen so I can prepare myself for the inevitable, at least mentally.

 I joined a Yahoo Group on Thyroid Cancer and they have this posted in one of their files:

Asking For Help

 As I sat reading through the list I had tears streaming down my face. Is this what it is going to be like? Really? (sigh) And can I, or will I really ask for help? That is so hard for me to do. I’m a caregiver type of person, and not so good at accepting help. It’s not that I’m not grateful when people offer to help me, I truly am grateful! It’s just that I feel so darned guilty about it. I should be doing these things for myself…and now I find out that I might not be able to even drive myself  around…and maybe not even work! Maybe it’s all exaggerated and it won’t really be this bad? I hope.

 If anyone is interested in reading more from ThyCa they can go to their website.

The Yahoo Group is here:

ThyCa Yahoo Group

 There is a mother lode of information at both places. My advice is to take it in small doses. It can really be overwhelming if you try to absorb it all in a couple of sittings. Especially if you or someone you love is facing this monster.

I keep hearing, “If you’ve got to have cancer, this is the kind to have.” And I keep thinking, “But I don’t want to have cancer at all.”

I didn’t get to choose that one, did I? That card just wasn’t in my deck.